Yesterday our lucky fin baby worked out that she could move herself across the floor. At the moment her arms are more engaged with the world than her legs are, so there’s a lot of shuffling backwards and confused expressions while she tries to work out why the toy in front of her is getting further away despite all her efforts. I simply love the fact that I’d heard a few people tell me not to worry if she doesn’t meet her milestones on time. And here she is, using both her arms to shuffle herself across the floor! I’m torn between thinking this is the best thing ever, and wishing she’d stop growing up quite so fast and would always stay my little baby. Either way, I think it’s time to start putting the house on lockdown…
In the meantime, I’m having to start being a bit careful about what I say. Language is something I’ve not thought about much since the early days after her birth. Back then I felt completely sensitive to everything and a round of “if you’re happy and you know it clap your hands” sent me into an emotional tizz. I now have only very mild flutters when I hear that song, and no issue at all with the phrase: “That’s handy!” or any other reference of the like. Isn’t it funny how things, that once seemed so important, just pale into insignificance with time?
The one word I still cannot abide in reference to Hero’s lucky fin (and suspect I never will), however, is ‘stump’. I can’t fully explain why I dislike it so much and it’s unfortunate that it’s a word my husband chooses to use often when referring to her hand (although he’s getting much better!). It’s a sure fire way to kill any joke when I’m in the room and you might need to be careful discussing the remnants of felled trees around me too as, even when completely unrelated, it still makes me flinch. How odd that such an innocuous word can conjure up such intense feelings of protection and make my mother lion hackles go up like a shot. Go figure.
It swings both ways, however, and there’s one phrase that I’ve used a lot over the last six months that my husband doesn’t approve of. It’s the complaint of parents of young babies everywhere: “I can’t do that, I’ve only got one hand.” Being encumbered with a baby, especially one of the clingy variety, can make carrying out everyday tasks tricky when you’re not used to doing things one-handed. I’ve even read a few blog posts about the subject. But stating that, in front of a wholly competent baby who’s apparently on the verge of crawling, does seem a little churlish. Is that the language we want her to adopt? A steady stream of ‘I can’ts’?
It’s time to take ownership of some of the things I say. It might not be offensive, it might even be true (it certainly is trickier getting stuff done as a two-handed person when you find yourself without the use of one). But there’s no escaping the fact that I’m making excuses we’d rather she didn’t make. Sometimes that ‘excuse’ will be appropriate for her, maybe even necessary. But we’d like her to be thinking about what she can do, not talking about what she can’t. On this one the husband might be right, Mummy might need to cut the ‘I can’t’ crap, but that doesn’t mean he can’t still bring her a drink and a snack from time to time!