Before Hero was born I was often told that she wouldn’t even know her right hand was missing. That she wouldn’t know any different. I’m not entirely sure that I ever fully believed that. Yet there was a part of me that felt that she couldn’t miss what she’d never had, right?
But as she storms past the three-month mark (time, slow yourself, please!) it’s abundantly clear that she does know something is missing, on a subconscious level at least.
Last week, seemingly over night, she learnt to reach out and grab at toys dangling in front of her. One day she was batting aimlessly, and often missing, the next she was reaching out with calculated aim and grabbing hold. All the while this little miracle was unfolding before my eyes her lucky fin remained resolutely tucked against her side, as if she’d just buried her hand in her pocket. It was as if she knew that her right hand couldn’t grab. As if there was no point to using it at all.
As is the wont of new mums, I panicked. Surely, as so many people had told me, she shouldn’t be using it any differently. She shouldn’t know, right? The wonderful Reach community came to my aid, as they always have, and other parents reassured me that their children too went through a time of not using their lucky fins as infants. They reassured me that a time suddenly came when their little one figured out that, while they couldn’t use their lucky fin in quite the same way, they still could use it and to great effect.
So I guess I need to wait and see, to relax back and let her do things in her own way and in her own sweet time. She’ll find her lucky fin sooner or later and there’ll be no stopping her when she does I’m sure!
In other news, Hero had her first experience of the cinema this week. Thank you so much to Odeon who put on a baby-friendly screening of the latest films each week. As dumb as it might sound, the cinema is one of the only things I miss from my pre-baby life, so learning that I could simply take Hero along too was the icing on the cake!
Hero was a trooper all the way through! She watched the first fifteen minutes of A Street Cat Named Bob with her wide bush-baby eyes, then had a nap on my shoulder through most of the emotional turmoil. We spent the last ten minutes standing up by the door to watch the ending, as she’d had enough of sitting still by that point, but all in all it was a resounding success and I can’t wait to see the all-important Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them in a couple of weeks!
As the other cinema goers were leaving, an elderly lady who didn’t speak much English passed us. She stopped to chat to Hero in Japanese for a bit, telling me in broken English that Hero had been really good throughout the film and how sweet she was. The lady reached out to take Hero’s hand and then hesitated a moment when she saw it was missing. The lady’s face then broke into the biggest smile and she bent down to give the lucky fin two tiny kisses. Then she looked Hero in the eye and told her she was beautiful.
I’m not sure if it was the uplifting ending to the film or if it was simply being privy to such a special moment between my daughter and a complete stranger, but I left the cinema with tears in my eyes and a heart like a helium balloon.