As soon as we received the news that our baby was going to be born without a right hand, I knew that I’d seen it all before.
A dream, from a few nights before, resurfaced with vivid clarity before the ultrasound had even been completed.
I’d been holding my laughing baby girl and she was missing her hand. There was simply a clean stump at the end. It had been a fleeting dream, one I had barely acknowledged, pinning it down to just one of those crazy pregnancy visions (of which I had been having many).
I knew then, even if the consultants weren’t sure, that she was a girl. I knew too, in the bottom of my heart that my daughter would be ok. In fact, she’d be more than ok; she’d be a healthy, happy and energetic young lady, strong willed and passionate.
However, The dream and that underlying surety certainly did nothing to discount our fears over the following two weeks as we awaited more answers.
The experience has given me a stronger understanding and respect for my intuition, a tiny voice I’d never listened to before. It was a memo to me that as I embark on motherhood for the first time, my gut instincts and intuitions are there to protect my baby and I. They’re those tiny voices in the back of your mind, the ones we discount first, the ones we reject. Yet they’re only there to help, to look out for us.
After all this, I’m planning to make a promise to myself to listen, first and foremost, to myself before I start listening to the outside world.